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” “It’s only natural,” he said softly, stroking my hand and arm. “It’s a big thing for you, I understand that. It’s big for both of us if I’m honest.” His words and voice were soothing. “I just… can’t bear the anticipation… and with Sandy next door listening…” I told him about my encounter in the lobby. He smiled, stroked my hand a little more and kissed me on the cheek. I began to tremble violently. Suddenly I really couldn’t bear it any longer. “Andy please… please… can we just do it… get it over with now, before I have a total breakdown?” He looked astonished. “What do you mean?” I took a deep breath. “I just... I just can’t bear the tension any longer. If we’re going to... to do it all weekend; if I’m going to cheat on my husband… can we just get the first time over with now?” “Wendy...” “Please Andy! If you don’t take me now I’m not sure I can go through with it!” I could barely believe what I was saying. Was I really desperate to have my first ever extra-marital sex as soon as. But somehow that didn't seem to be a violation of my marriage vows. It wasn't with another woman but with a man, a gay man, and I wasn't even aware of it, at least afterward. So Monica thought what the other women thought, that it was merely evidence I had become one of them, except for the technicality that had made it possible for me to relate to Eric. She only regretted that it hadn't happened years earlier, when I was still a teenage girl, so I could have weaved romantic dreams around my memory of it. She only regretted that I had no memory of it at all.I was still doing cost estimates on various projects and faxing in the results, and still earning a good income, but no one in the office had seen me for many weeks, and I was thinking of quitting and just setting up full time as a homemaker for the two of us. It was what I much preferred doing. And keeping myself pretty for Monica took time.Monica encouraged me. She was working very hard, many days and evenings spent out with.
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